Are You an Emotional Thermometer or Thermostat?

What's the difference between a thermostat and a thermometer?

A thermometer reads the temperature in a room. It fluctuates as the temperature increases or decreases.

A thermostat sets the temperature of the room. It holds the temperature steady at a predefined level and adjusts slightly depending on the change in temperature of the room.

A person who acts like an emotional thermometer can have their emotions fluctuate significantly based on what happens day to day, the people that they interact with and their mood, as well as their environment.

In contrast, a person who acts like an emotional thermostat sets the intention for the emotional state they would like to embody and the outcomes they want to achieve. Their emotional state is less influenced by what happens day to day, or the emotional states of the people they interact with and their environment. They adjust their emotional response slightly to connect and influence the room’s temperature back to the predefined emotional set point.

Without judgment, which state do you find yourself in the most: the emotional thermometer or the emotional thermostat? Being the thermometer can feel like an emotional roller coaster whereas being the emotional thermostat feels much smoother and less stressful.

We can’t control the emotional states of others or what crazy things life can throw at us some days! Sometimes it can feel frustrating, scary, or sad. This isn’t about not feeling your emotions; it’s about acknowledging or observing them, feeling them, and then quickly letting them go. Doing this allows you to be more present and stops one undesirable situation from bleeding into other obligations in your day.

So how can we become more like emotional thermostats, so that we can SHAPE our environment instead of being SHAPED by it? With practice and daily discipline!

1. Set clear and simple intentions for your day, i.e. how do I want to feel today? Joyful? Grateful? Peaceful? Loving?

2. Pause between activities! (Zoom meetings, errands, or day-to-day tasks). Take a few deep breaths, remember your intentions for the day, and reset.

3. Clear mental clutter. Even if it’s a short practice, clearing the mental clutter through daily meditation allows you to reset and release whatever emotions you don’t want to bring into the next day. It can set you up for a more restful night’s sleep and help you feel like you’re starting your day off with a clean slate. Journaling can also be a useful practice to gain perspective on your daily experiences.

4. Move your body. Go for a walk outside at lunchtime or after work, play with the kids or go to the gym. Even if it’s just walking to the printer or the water cooler, moving your body can help reset your mind and emotional state.

If you’re looking for practices that can help you become more like an emotional thermostat, we encourage you to invest in a Five to Align Journal. This practical resource goes even deeper into the concept of Emotional Fluency as well as the other four main keys to finding alignment.

Included with the Journal are some great bonuses like a meditation video that you can add to your daily routine in as little as 3 minutes.

When you purchase a Five to Align Journal you also get a FREE month of membership to our Five to Align Community with monthly Masterclasses and Q&As. This month we'll tackle the POWER of Emotional Fluency and the benefits of understanding the message behind your emotions. Get ready for some amazing insights that can truly change how you approach your days.

Learn more about becoming a member and accessing the Masterclasses and Q&A HERE.

Credit to Rachel and Dave Hollis for sharing the thermometer/thermostat concept on their podcast: RISE. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. used the thermostat analogy in his 1963 Letter from a Birmingham Jail.